halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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