Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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