let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
