They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
