just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
