I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
