Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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