i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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