You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
