thus making me awesome and them whores
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
