She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize