saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
