I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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