I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
high people should be assigned attendants
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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