My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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