why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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