I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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