Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
