so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
