there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
