His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We talked him into tasing himself.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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