my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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