You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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