a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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