Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
