What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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