508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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