So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
