Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
