You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
two words...techno handjob
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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