I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
