I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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