Pants 0. Shit 1.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
