i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
