just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
