Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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