I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
