I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
