She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
