that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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