I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Randomize
