Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
