i permit you to call me
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
