shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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