Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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