You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize