but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Less talking, more tequila
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
