a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
