Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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