I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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