Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
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