Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
