worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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