so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
