shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
