He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
