I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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