Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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