well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
