I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
